Our unexpected road to IVF w/ PGD testing

I'm beginning this journal in the midst of a dark time. I think writing and sharing our experience with others will help me to cope with what has happened and the trials to come. But the main reason I'm starting this blog is to help others! From what I can tell, our situation isn't very common so being a resource for anyone facing this problem in the future makes me happy. My husband and I have a happy and healthy 15 month old daughter named Elle. She's amazing. Up until almost 2 weeks ago, we were pregnant with another baby. I was 23 weeks along when we lost this Angel Baby. It's been truly devastating. Before Elle, I had a miscarriage, but it was in the 1st trimester, very different. I thought I knew sadness then, but this experience goes above and beyond. When I had the miscarriage, I was told by so many people (including doctors) that this would not dictate any other pregnancies. I did lots of research and found that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, and most women have healthy babies after one. Well, that was true with me as well. I got pregnant with Elle only a few weeks after we lost our first baby. I was PETRIFIED for about a third of the pregnancy. This time, I was so preoccupied with taking care of Elle, who was only 10 months old when I got pregnant, that I didn't worry as much. My husband is in the military and got deployed for 3 months so I was caring for her alone most of this pregnancy. I was so sick in the first trimester, just like with Elle, which is a great sign. When my husband came back, I was already more than halfway through the pregnancy. Things were great! I felt good and expected things would be fine. We went for our big 20 week ultrasound a little late (over 21 weeks) and things went quickly downhill from there. To make a very long and sad story short, the baby was not well. There were a number of issues and the baby passed away less than 2 weeks later. 

I know I will grieve this baby for a long time. I will watch Elle growing up and wonder how things would be different if this baby were healthy. Elle was supposed to have a sibling just 19 months younger than her. It's not my job to map out my life, although it's easy to be tricked into believing it is when things are going well. But once again, I am reminded that God is in charge here, not me. His plan might not make sense to me now, but I do trust that He has a plan and it is the right one. 

After lots of testing, we now know that the baby had a chromosomal abnormality, and specifically a translocation between chromosomes 9 and 19. These terms were foreign to me a few weeks ago, but now they are at the forefront of my mind. This is something that a few members of Ian's extended family have as well. Now we know that he is also a carrier. There is nothing wrong with Ian, but if this is passed onto a baby, it is not possible the baby will survive. In order to prevent this from happening again, we are going to move forward with IVF with PGD testing. IVF is used for infertility. This isn't necessarily our problem since I am able to get pregnant easily. But now that we know we are likely to face this again, IVF with PGD testing will allow us to test embryos before they are implanted for pregnancy. The baby will be made from our sperm and egg but any abnormal embryos will not be used. This provides lots of relief for us, although the thought of being pregnant again still scares me. 

Okay, now that we have our backstory out of the way, hopefully no other posts will be this long! I'm excited to document this journey with others and hopefully be successful in our quest for more kids. I've been scouring the Internet for IVF and IVF w/ PGD success stories and I've found a few couples that have been blessed with healthy triplets! A few weeks ago I would not have ever thought I'd be up for having multiples but now I would consider it a major blessing. Ian and I have a shared dream of a big family and though it will be more involved and difficult to get there, I really hope we can. Until then...KEEPING THE FAITH:)