Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Egg Retrieval and the Emotional Rollercoaster

Since I last wrote, lots has happened! Some good, some bad, but all a part of the plan. We are still keeping the faith on this blog. But it's been a bumpy ride. 

The shots were fine. Minor bruising, but a breeze really. I even got over my fear of giving blood since I was having to do it daily leading up to the egg retrieval (ER). The final week before the ER is grueling. You are giving yourself multiple shots a day and you start to feel FULL. Very bloated and aware of your ovaries. It's weird, I know. But the shots you are giving yourself are pumping your ovaries up so they are able to keep growing all the follicles. Eggs live in the follicles, and follicles live in the ovaries. So leading up to the egg retrieval, I had to go in every morning and get blood drawn (to check my estrogen level) and get a ultrasound to measure all the growing follicles. 

This became a very exciting process. For months leading up to the IVF, and even when it started, I was told that I had a low egg reserve. Not great news for an IVF candidate, since the more eggs you get, the better your odds of having healthy embryos. My doctor said we could expect 9-10 eggs per cycle. Well, I started asking for prayer for more eggs. From everyone. It started in my Sisterhood Infertility group and just expanded. I shamelessly asked for prayer for my eggs. I wanted to prove that this was in God's hands and he could do better. I asked for 12 eggs, a dozen, and then I jokingly upped it to a baker's dozen. 

During my first ultrasound, the tech started counting the follicles. I silently prayed. "6, 7, 8...9, 10...11, 12." I could hardly believe it! Just as I had asked, a dozen! I went back the next day and she told me she saw 13. I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. My pessimistic self had to laugh and remember that the stats, doctors and odds are no match for God.

That gave me a push and I just kept asking for prayer. I asked strangers. I really believed that the more people I had praying for me, the more eggs I would get. Fast forward a few days to the egg retrieval. It went smooth. Even with the ultrasound results in (13 follicles), my doctor told us to expect "10 or 11" eggs. The ultrasounds are not 100% accurate and there's no way of knowing 100% until you go in. 

I woke up with the number 19 in my head. I was in a lot of pain and very out of it but kept thinking 19, 19, 19. They brought Ian in and I asked if they got 19 eggs. They did (they must have told me when I came to, but I only half heard them)! 19 eggs! About double more than what I had been told to expect for months. This was such a huge answer to prayer and I had to give the glory to Him. Nothing else would make sense. 

Anyway, since that day, the numbers started to dwindle pretty quickly, as they tend to do with IVF. Of the 19 eggs retrieved, 15 were mature (the right size). Those 15 were injected with one single sperm each, and only 8 fertilized. So the next day, we were told that those 8 would be given the chance to grow for 5-6 days. Because we need PGD, whichever embryos (as they are now called) made it this long would be biopsied and sent out to Houston for testing. The Dr. in Houston would look at the 9 and 19 chromosomes and be able to tell if the embryo/s were healthy or not***. So we waited. 

On day 5, we were told that 1 embryo had stopped growing, 4 embryos had grown enough to be biopsied, and 3 may be able to be biopsied the next day. The next day, I was told that 1 additional embryo was able to be biopsied. "Great, so we have 5 that will be sent for PGD?" I said. The Dr. told me that there was some bad news. The 4 embryos that got biopsied the previous day all stopped growing after biopsy. The embryo that got biopsied that day was immediately frozen and was our only hope. I couldn't believe it. Our miracle of 19 eggs had rapidly dropped and we had 1 possible embryo. The chance of this embryo being healthy and able to create a living child is 32%. I was getting really sick about the odds and nearly gave up. We tried to stay busy all weekend and distract ourselves from the bad news we could get on Monday. We hung out with our precious miracle Elle and just basked in her fabulous-ness. It helped of course!

                                              Gorgeous Charlestowne Landing

I called the Houston Dr. on Monday expecting the worst but hoping for another miracle. It came. "I have some very good news for you..." he said. So our one frozen embryo is not affected by the translocation! It all came down to one, and I am so grateful. Thank you for the prayers. They are working. 


                                                     Joy. 


I read this today and it's so beautiful. For all my ladies who are struggling to add to your family, take heart.

"I don't know why we have been chosen to undertake such a painful journey, why we must go through such struggles to bring our children into this world. But I do know that when we look into our babies' faces, they will never have to wonder if they were really wanted. Ours are the children who, no matter how they came to us, will look at their parents and know from the deepest places in their heart, how much we cherish them, and how we labored to give them life. And in that there is no greater security and no greater gift." - Dr. Randine Lewis, The Infertility Cure


***An unhealthy embryo in this case is a death sentence. This particular unbalanced chromosomal translocation is not compatible with a live birth. 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Mid point

So I am more than halfway through this IVF cycle. Up until yesterday, I've been wondering what all of the fuss was about. I feel fine, no crazy emotions, the injections aren't bad, and the days are ticking by quickly. By the way, here's all the supplies and meds that came in the mail!


For anyone searching for IVF info, here's my experience so far. So the first two weeks were a morning injection of lupron. Ian was giving it to me and things were good. Yesterday after a doctor appointment, I was given the okay to add two more injections to my day, low dose HCG and follistam. The follistam grows the eggs, so I was excited that we were onto the next stage of the IVF. Wow, that injection was no joke! It throbbed for awhile and wouldn't stop bleeding. I kept telling Ian that didn't feel right and I was in so much pain. Today I woke up with a huge bruise on my belly from that shot. Now I see what the fuss is about.  I gave it to myself today to see if that would make a difference. Same thing, major throbbing and bleeding once I removed the needle. We'll see if there's another bruise tomorrow. But all in all the process is much less stressful/painful/scary than I anticipated. Hopefully that offers comfort to someone out there!